April 30, 2006
Stephen Colbert Rocks the House
Wooow. Stephen Colbert, standing not three feet from the President and First Lady, set off a few tactical nukes at the White House Correspondents' Dinner this weekend. Here's the full transcript, half of the video (UPDATE: full video here, and some great analysis by Jim Henley here), and some choice quotes:
(FURTHER UPDATE: YouTube has been forced to take the Colbert video down, but it's here minus the "audition tape" part)
I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq. I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible -- I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe our infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.[...]
I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, has he stood on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.
[...]
Fox News gives you sides of every story, the president’s side and the vice president’s side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A. Wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they’re super depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. Intelligence, the affect of global warms. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.
[...]
Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the white house has personnel changes. Then you write they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This ships not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on The Hindenburg.
There's more.
Posted by ben at April 30, 2006 06:33 PM